By Casey Lartigue Jr.
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Most questions, observations and conclusions of people are based on their own experiences growing up in free countries.
In analyzing these questions, I am not saying they should not be asked. I would like to present context for non-experts who join events featuring North Korean refugee speakers.
An example of such a question is: "Are you still in contact with your family members in North Korea?" That is a perfectly fine question for people living in freedom, but have the questioners considered that things are different when a gangster state is involved?
From what I have heard from North Korean refugees, it is expensive for them to be in contact with family members. One North Korean refugee talked about how painful it was, after a lot of planning, to only be able to talk with relatives for a few minutes. They had to make sure they weren't detected by the regime because of the danger for those in North Korea
getting caught being in contact with family members would also provide the regime with evidence that they have escaped. Family members will sometimes report that an escapee drowned or disappeared from the family. This is not like checking your Facebook feed to see how your uncle is doing after he moved across the U.S. or Europe.
A second question that is commonly asked from the context of a person living in freedom: "How can people help North Koreans?" Of course, it is great that people are asking how people living in slavery can be helped, but I would like to encourage questioners to be more realistic about the responses they receive. In a decade of organizing forums with North Korean refugees, I have yet to see a questioner satisfied with responses about how to help. Even governments with well-financed security agencies struggle while trying to figure out how to deal with North Korea. Yet, people expect North Korean refugees talking about their own stories to explain what should be done about North Korea.
I heard this question so often that we made it the focus at two of our English speech contests featuring North Korean refugees and even put together a project around it so North Korean refugees could propose ways for North Koreans to be helped. Not only did North Korean refugees disagree among themselves, but I don't recall anyone who heard the suggestions act on what was proposed.
A third question I often hear from people living in freedom ignorant of North Korea's context is about the good memories that North Korean refugees have about the country or leaders.
I bristled the first couple of times I heard the question. "So, you think after getting shot at while escaping or seeing family members or neighbors publicly executed that they want to talk about the positives?" That was a stifling discussion and I wasn't learning how North Korean refugees might respond. I decided to see what North Korean refugees would say when they weren't being questioned by strangers at public forums.
During 2017, to avoid confirmation bias, I began asking North Korean refugees a more neutral question: "Who is your hero (or someone you admire)?" Of about 150 North Korean refugees who answered the question, only one person mentioned North Korea's founder.
The other refugees talked about family members or friends in North Korea, people who helped them escape, or people who had helped them in South Korea.
One lady told a beautiful story at one of our speech contests that she didn't settle down in South Korea successfully until a South Korean lady became her mentor, adviser and paid for some opportunities for her. As she said, "She held my hand, then after that I could do anything."
I have yet to hear any North Korean refugee talk about the regime holding his or her hand or helping him or her through tough times. Is this an example of self-selection? Most North Koreans who admire the regime may still be in North Korea or have trouble explaining why they are not in the country they say they love?
As a person living in freedom, I have suggested to such questioners that they may need to go to North Korea to hear what it is that North Koreans like about North Korea. Oops! Are people free to ask such questions in North Korea? And can North Koreans in North Korea give any answer other than about the leaders of the country? I guess that is more evidence North Korea is not a normal country.
Casey Lartigue Jr. (CJL@alumni.harvard.edu) is co-founder with Lee Eun-koo and chairman of Freedom Speakers International (FSI) and co-author with Han Song-mi of "Greenlight to Freedom."
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